the P.Pole

This used to be just funny.

Thanks xkcd.

And as is now regular, a song: a relatively new (to me) sad song, Annie Use Your Telescope by Jack’s Mannequin. ☥

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☥ Michelle was the one to introduce me to Jack’s Mannequin many years ago, and the Carl Foundation of Musical Enjoyment thanks her for her generous contribution.

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Somehow, iTunes DJ seems to know exactly which songs to drag up out of the dusty archives. More music for readers. Lyrics after the jump.

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Today has been a bad day, starting with the fact that I could not pick myself up out of bed and have been unable to will myself to do anything of any use to anyone all day. I was unable to compute some statistics problems for my online quiz, after which I promptly returned to decomposing faced down in my bed.

I don’t remember the last time I felt so poor in spirit, which is either a good thing (if that means I do not have such episodes regularly) or a bad thing (I never figured out how to avoid these phases). My hair is falling out (a little more than the usual amount for a normal guy my age), and my knees hurt. My head is restless and so is my mind. I spent all day in bed and still feel tired, listless, syrup-like in terms of motivation. I wouldn’t say I’ve lost the will to live, but currently I do feel like all the drudgery meets drama is seriously cramping my rocketeering style.

In any case, I’m headed home this coming weekend. Should give me a chance to get away from this place and see my family again. I also need a haircut, some home-cooked meals, and to pick up my purchases after they arrive (hopefully). I would also like to see Amy, but that is for the fates to decide. And of course—continuing on with the theme of inconvenience—the freaking G8 Summit will cause many parts of downtown Toronto to be closed, including my Greyhound terminal. I’m hoping the Fedbus can take me where I need to go (i.e. directly to Scarborough Town Center).

Random Note: I still remember that time I saw a whole pick up truck full of bagels driving alongside the bus that Connie and I were taking to get to our respective homes. That was neat.

Is when I can design a system and write the code that will make everyone’s lives easier, but I can’t do the same for my own.

Is when I can figure out how to solve any problem given to me, but not any of those that I actually care about.

Is when I care more about what will be over in a week than what I had hoped would never end.

I’m almost sure I am describing irony here, but wouldn’t it be ironic if even that were turned on its head.

Last night I went to Amy’s place to help her do some tee-shirts for my friend Cristian. I say that I was there to help mainly because whenever it comes to artsy stuff, I am more than completely ready to surrender all decision-making power to her. She is clearly much more talented than myself and has a knack for making me feel kinda slow when it comes to art.

I also laugh a little when I say “help” because as I will soon explain, I was much worse than completely useless (uncharacteristic, since I usually chill out at the “mildly useful/ornamental” level of utility). Basically, one shirt that she had been working on for many a-long hour for the past few days was wrecked in seconds by myself and my Cursed Phalanges.

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I fell in love with a little band called Emery a few years ago and have since picked up listening to their new music (with some of their old mixed in for good, nostalgic measure). I can’t say it was love at first listen, but I think as their sound matured while my musical tastes broadened, we gradually grew into each other.

I used to only like a few choice songs by them, specifically “The Ponytail Parades”. I also used to think their style a bit too harsh sounding, and over-melodramatic. Since then, I’ve grown fond of their emotive lyrics and vocals, and their instrumentals are good compliments to their messages.

In any case, enjoy this song, “World Away” by Emery, from their newer album, “I’m Only a Man” (2007). And this post is labeled as Emo for the music and not so much for my mood.

Aside: In a complete turnaround from the song’s title and meaning, welcome back Amy!

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You want to see me disappear, well it starts here.
I’m trying my best not to say what you don’t want to hear.But it’s alright–you can cover your (cover your) ears.

Face my fears, just once a year.
The feeling I get when I want to return everything That’s in my life. I’ll be bursting at the seams.

It’s a gamble either way,
If you play your cards.
It’s another tidal wave; I’ll be waiting with my eyes closed.

No, I don’t want to be the one who lives a lie,
But never knew. It was just a world away from where
I can feel like I’ve never felt before, So lock the door.

You’re the one who told me to pack up all my things,
And leave in the morning. It’s just a world away from here,
And I will never bother you no more,
And that’s for sure.
- Emery, World Away

Before I start, be warned. I’ve had two ounces of hard liquor today (mixed with tonic water and citrus juices), but I feel pretty coherent. Please do read the following and love me as I am.

Firstly, this will be my third post just today–also the second filed under Emo and Downer.  It has been a long day with a wayward soul.

Secondly, I don’t feel anything except very, very tired. Okay, I’m feeling a little listlessly lamentable too (did you see what I did there?).

Thirdly, I was strangely eager to try Rafael’s gin and tonic along with his (original) almond-liquor sour creations today. They were good, and warming.

Finally, I am listening to the soundtrack from Stardust. …A-a-and now I want to disappear for a week or so.

My knight in shining whatever, if you are to strike, strike soon and with a vengeance! Save me from this villainy and tyranny of gloom! You may not know what to do, but when the moment is right, you will know. May the Spirit be with you even as I cannot. I will now brave the folds of my bedding and hope to escape their clinging, slumber-drenched grasp come the Sun, tomorrow. And as I part, I shall impart some intoxicated wisdom–that I’ve finally learned today, after so long–with you, fairest of readers: “Today will be over before you’ve known it, but tomorrow is forever.”

I ask only for a tomorrow with the Sun, the Moon, and you. You know, the one I’ve been going on about since forever.